A priority setting hack
I suppose that many people don’t consciously set priorities. For a long time I have, but lately I realised I’ve been going about it the wrong way. In this post I’ll explain what I think is a better approach.
This is how I used to do it: I’d think about my goals and then work backwards to determine the steps I need to take to get there. For example, I want to do well as an investor, so I’ll read an annual report every day. Or, I want to gain weight, so I’ll go to the gym 4 times a week.
Being disciplined, I’d dutifully stick to these kinds of regiments. Good right? No.. unfortunately not.
See it turns out I really didn’t enjoy reading an annual report every day. That leads us to a critical question, is life about enjoying what you are doing or achieving a certain goal. I suppose that’s the old journey not the destination argument.
Actually I think both are important. There’s no denying that achievement and success are important in life, what I’ve come to realise though is that if you attain some goal, however worthy it may seem, and you haven't enjoyed the process, then you will derive no lasting satisfaction from getting there. In addition, it is likely the success will have cost you health, relationships and happiness.
If on the other hand your success comes as a result of some activity that you love in and of itself, then you have already won and the achievement later on will only add to your enjoyment, not be the creator of it.
To look at it another way, we are very good at determining the extent to which we are enjoying something in the present moment, and quite poor at determining how much we will enjoy something in the future. By engaging in what we enjoy in the present, we are following a thread that will lead to further enjoyment in the future, without having to plan it specifically. We are in effect working with fate as it is dealt to us, instead of trying to concoct it.
A word on enjoyment, I don’t mean this in the superficial way, like the enjoyment you get from eating cheesecake. I mean the sense that you get when you are doing something active, that you are both good at, and that draws in creative energy. The type of thing that comes naturally to you, that you make look easy, where others would find it hard. Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience is a great book, the author describes this kind of activity as a sense of flow.
If you are with me so far, then we can look at another way of setting priorities.
Make a list of all the activities you do routinely, for example: gym training, reading, writing, work, buying and selling things on EBAY, learning Spanish etc. Then within each activity write down with a few bullet points about what is involved. Finally write a number out of 10 next to each activity for how much you enjoy it.
Once you have the scores compare them to how much time you’re actually allocating to those activities currently. Then look at the discrepancy between the rating and time spent. For example, if you rated your work a 4 and your EBAY business a 5 but you spend most of your week doing those two things, then what is your quality of life? I suspect it might be quite poor. And if you’re spending your weeks in this way, I think it’s hard to expect things to improve. Most likely you will just create a different version of the same reality, even if you do get that promotion, buy that car, or even marry that girl/guy.
The way to flip the script then is, where you can, start to spend more time doing the things that scored highly on your list. Then you have a chance for positive change, for the hand of Providence to help you along. Even if you allocate just an hour of your day to those high enjoyment activities, a new energy will start to enter your daily life, and open up new ideas and new opportunities. Ideally you want to work towards spending most of your time doing those highly enjoyable activities.
I can hear the objections, I don’t enjoy my job but I have to stick with it to pay my rent, look after my family etc. Well most people are in this position, only 13% of people love their jobs, so you’re not alone. So if that’s the case for you, the first thing you can try to do is enjoy your work a little more. Or if you can’t enjoy it, just accept it for now and know it won’t be forever. From there spend more time on the other activities you enjoy, without wondering where it will lead you, but with some degree of optimism that it will eventually lead you to something else.
You may however be in the position where your whole routine has become a mere means to an end. Everything you do on a daily basis is to achieve some future thing, and you’ve been in this pattern for so long that you’ve lost touch with what you truly enjoy. Perhaps you even find yourself wondering, do I even enjoy anything in life anymore?
If that’s the case, then you may need to start experimenting a little more, trying new things or going back to things you used to do and see if there’s any spark in it. Sometimes that spark is quite subtle in the beginning, so it requires focus and stillness to pick it up. You’ll be able to pick up that spark much better if you give things your full attention without distraction from social media etc.
Another good place to look is deep in the past. What were you interested in as a child? If you observe children growing up, it’s easy to see that from a very young age they have their own set of interests, distinct from others, even if they grew up in the same environment. That suggests that we have interests and talents that are innate. Discovering what those natural interests are is a good way to realise what you may want to spend more time doing.
As a kid I loved Lego, music, animals, nature and reading. Not much has changed. You can also extrapolate a little, for example writing is high on my enjoyment priority list, it’s not something I did much as a kid, but it is an extension of reading and fits into the general category of language.
Try it. I think that within a very short period you’ll feel the child-like magic and wonder about the world starting to come back into your life. At that point you’ve already won, but as it turns out external circumstances also tend to improve when you’re imbued with that spirit.