Just like old times
It was nine years ago that I moved to Osaka. I stayed for three. It was long enough that coming back now, it feels very much like home. Well, as much as a foreign country can. I think you could spend a lifetime trying to fit in here and pretty much get nowhere. There is no fitting-in in Japan as a foreigner. The best you can do is not stand out too much. That’s OK though, I don’t mind enjoying Japan as an outsider.
Western countries, I have to say, are different. Take Australia for example, if you spend enough time there you can be as Australian as the next person. Still, it’s a shallow sense of belonging compared to a country like Japan or Greece, and for that reason many people who move to Australia cling to their roots. The sense of belonging that someone from Kyoto would feel, with a history that dates back a thousand years is on a different level than we as immigrants can feel in Australia. Whether we arrived twenty, thirty or 150 years ago.
Just imagine walking the streets of Kyoto and knowing that your ancestors were walking those same streets 1000 years ago. And that just like you they were probably pondering the same things. Sure this new generation might be staring at their iPhone as they walk, but they are still thinking about what they are going to eat, who they might marry and what career to take up. The fundamentals haven’t changed. And no matter how many generations come and go, each new generation has to find answers.
It’s easy to think obsessively about those questions. I do. Depending on the week or even the day (sometimes) that you ask me, I’ll probably give you a different answer. “I want to live in Melbourne. I want to live in Tokyo. I want to live in Bangkok. I want to get a job that is more interactive. I want to keep managing my own investments without getting a job.” And on and on. Sometimes it's a bit like standing in front of a merry-go-round, watching the horses pop up. Each one that pops up makes you think, yes! That’s the one. Until the next one pops up. It’s funny really. Perhaps you are better at backing one horse than me, but the truth is we all do this to a certain extent. That’s because many of our decisions are based on how we are feeling at the time, and feelings are fickle. Once the feeling changes the decision is likely to change too.
So how are you supposed to make decisions when confronted with this merry-go-round?
The first trick is that your decisions are likely to be of much higher quality when you are in a peaceful and good state of mind. When you are feeling that way write down your plan, and go back to it when you aren’t feeling so optimistic.
The second trick is to realise that all those questions about external circumstances aren’t actually that important. They are important, but not THAT important. I can prove it to you with a simple example. There are people out there in the world that have it all as far as circumstances are concerned; they are wealthy, have a smart and attractive spouse, live in a beautiful house and have great kids. And yet they themselves are miserable.
How is that possible? Because they’ve answered all the small questions, but have not answered the big questions.
Who/what am I? What is life about? Why am I here?
I’m not qualified to provide answers for those big questions, or even to guide you on how to find answers (but if you want to know what I’m personally doing please ask me and I’ll let you know). I’ll just share my approach which is that if you keep looking you’ll find the answers at some point. And I think that once you answer those big questions, the small questions become very easy to answer.
As for Japan, I do love the place. Living here I had experiences and met people that changed my life. I can’t even imagine where I would be now if it hadn’t been for that.
Ganbarimasu. The only way is forward.