No mind

In a previous post I mentioned that, “I have no concrete spiritual experience”. That’s not entirely true. This post is about how I stumbled upon the first base of spiritual experience, no mind. It follows on from the previous two posts.

This story takes us back to May of 2015. I had just moved over to Osaka, Japan. The first time I’d ever lived outside my home city of Melbourne. My ticket over there had been landing a English teaching job via one of the large Eikaiwa called Aeon. Eikaiwa are privately operated English schools where people of all ages take group or private classes.

After interviewing I had to wait to be matched to a specific school. The first school I was offered was in Umeda, in the centre of Osaka. Originally I wanted to be posted to Tokyo, since I had a friend living there. But after thinking about it, Osaka seemed like a good option. Firstly I was right in the centre and there was no guarantee I would get something central in Tokyo. Likely it would be further out. Secondly the salary they paid was pretty meagre and wouldn’t get me far in Tokyo. I figured I’d be able to live a better lifestyle in Osaka. Third, I liked Osaka. It was more laid back than Tokyo.

Fortunately my school was an adults only school, so I wouldn’t have to do any of the singing and dancing that the kids teachers are required to do. I wanted a challenge, but that would have been a bridge too far.

I landed on the 8th of May, excited to start a new chapter in my life. 10 days of intensive training lay ahead of me. My fellow trainees where a motley crew. An English guy a few years younger than me. An American woman in her mid 30’s with springy curly hair. And a red haired Australian woman from Perth, who entered my bad books almost immediately when she remarked that I wasn’t a “real” Australian since I had Greek background. To which I countered that on that basis she wasn’t a real Australian either since she didn’t have black skin. “I’m sorry I didn’t mean it like that”, she said. I rolled my eyes.

Our trainer met us at the airport and we all took the train together into the city. He was an interesting character, bright blue eyes, slim and sporting a moustache which was strange given that the employee manual (they have a manual for everything in Japan) said we needed to be clean shaven. The other thing I distinctly remember is that he wore pants with a shirt tucked in tightly, but without a belt. It just looked odd. He also seemed overly smiley. Like he was putting on some kind of an act.

I suppose that was work for him though, even though we were on a train. I’d always hated putting on a face for work.

The trainer escorted us to the rather ordinary hotel. I was rooming with the English guy. That night we all went out for dinner, but we made sure to get home early since training was due to start the next morning. No time to enjoy the sights. We’d have to wait until day 8 to get time off. Welcome to Japan.

The training was hard enough, to make matters worse I’d picked up a stomach bug on the airplane. I spent the next week going to the toilet every hour. It was brutal. Perhaps I was too stoic about it. Eventually though I became so dehydrated that I couldn’t stand up without getting dizzy. At that point I got some time off and taken to a doctor. Despite this I managed to make it through training.

It came time for me to give my first lesson. I was nervous going in. I’d always thought of myself as shy and somewhat introverted. But as I got out of that first lesson I knew in my bones that I’d discovered a new talent. The way that I held the classes attention. The way that I could adjust my language to their level. My ability to intuit what the student wanted to say. All these abilities I later honed with experience, but the fundamentals were there right from the beginning. And I didn’t have to do anything to develop them. It was the gym equivalent of having never trained and taking your shirt off to find a six pack.

Someone, or something had a sense of humour I thought. It was only by pushing far outside my comfort zone and having been sick as a dog for a week that I’d discovered this ability. It would be nice if we got a list of all the things we can be good at when we turn 18. It doesn’t work that way though. Sometimes you have to cross the world to find the treasure in yourself. It’s not always easy. In fact it’s often hard and you have to confront your fears along the way. That is why most people never really discover what they are capable of.

As I settled into working at the Eikaiwa I used every spare moment to explore the city and the region. I’d be hiking up a mountain one day, visiting a temple in Kyoto the next, going to pub crawls and drinking at Izakaya with friends. My senses were filled with this adventure. And soon any worries I’d had started to melt away.

And just like that I slipped onto first base. I didn’t know it at the time, but on reflection it’s quite clear.

I was on the train one day in late June heading to Kyoto. Warm sunlight was filtering into the train and as I sat there enjoying this I realised, I wasn’t thinking. I mean not one thing. My mind was totally devoid of any kind of chatter. Even better I became conscious of a warm tingly feeling throughout my body. I felt great for no apparent reason. Sure I’d felt good before, who hasn’t? But this was for no reason other than just being there, on the train. There were no external stimuli that I could point to. The warm feeling was coming from within.

I wasn’t the only one who had noticed. Other people started reacting differently to me too. The train was empty yet people would come and sit near me. Others smiled at me. I actually looked from side to side thinking “me?” This continued on for some weeks, some days more so than others. I usually write quite a lot in my journal. During this time I really had nothing much to think about and therefore nothing much to write.

I suppose it was like being in a deep meditation, while walking around, fully alert and active. But since I’d stumbled into this state, I had no idea how to maintain it. Or replicate it later on when I switched back to the normal (abnormal) chatter, that almost everyone has to deal with.

It was great while it lasted and I knew that I’d experienced something beyond the norm.

Most of us experience something like that in shorter bursts, usually from an external source. Whether that is alcohol, sex, drugs or gambling. Or on the positive side, music, sport or exercise. What those activities have in common is they give us a break from the mental chatter.

It is why we get addicted to all sorts of things.

I suppose then you could say I felt high, except it was a natural high and didn’t only last for a few minutes, but for hours and days.

Gradually though, that state began to slip through my fingers.

The months and years rolled on in Japan. Eventually I left, returned to Melbourne and that hint of Elysium that I’d experienced was long forgotten. Until recently.

Last week I was reading a book called The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle. In it he explains the concept of no mind and how it is over-identification with the mind that leads to many of our troubles. He posits that what we are is in fact beyond the body and the mind.

He explains it a lot better than I can, since he it seems, hit a home run instead of just getting to first base like I did.

I wish I could say that I’ve now learnt how to switch off the mind, I haven’t yet, but I will.

In Japan my mind started to switch off because I was so enamoured with the place. I put so much of my attention into my surroundings that I got out of my head and into the world. Tolle talks about this technique in his book. It is one that I stumbled upon inadvertantly. But I suppose if you train yourself to focus on the present moment sufficiently, you could be anywhere and achieve the same result.

It took reading the book to remember my experience in Japan, which I’d forgotten through the trials and tribulations of daily life.

It leads me to the final point in this 3 part series, while relationships with others and the management of your body are critical, the ultimate skill in life as I see it is to be able to draw your wellbeing from within. If you can sit there quietly and enjoy being, then you’ve really made it. After that you can still enjoy everything else that the world has to offer, but it comes as a bonus, not a need.

How to get there? I’m working on it. Someday I hope to let you know.