Strategies to calm the mind
I rushed around cleaning my apartment. Then after lugging chicken and vegetables in the hot afternoon sun from the supermarket I set to chopping everything up. Halfway through cutting the exorbitantly expensive imported capsicum I realised suddenly that I felt anxious. Something I hadn’t felt to that extent in 12 years.
Somehow my life in Bangkok wasn’t turning out how I’d planned. I spent my time moving from one activity to another, with little joy. Just doing the basic things seemed to be taking up all my time and energy. And like I mentioned in my previous post, I had become isolated. Over the next few days that pressure remained and one night as I lay there at night a panic began to set in. My heart began to beat faster and faster.
Why? I thought as I tried to steady myself. In that moment I made a deal. That if needed I’d get outside help, I’ll call the people close to me and even move from Bangkok. With this inventory of options I did indeed begin to steady. And I laughed at myself.
What did I have to be anxious about, I had many of the things I once dreamed of. A base in Asia, a great apartment, an independent income and work that I enjoyed.
In the days that followed I wrote a list of all the things that I needed to change. I decided to make life easier for myself. Order out instead of cooking all the time. To get my condo cleaned. And most importantly to put effort into making proper connections with people.
I felt that I was on the right track, but I also knew that it was thinking too much that got me into this state in the first place, how likely is it I can think my way out? I needed a different approach.
The mind and our thoughts are slippery things. You might get a grip on it or you might not. Either way it’s likely to take a long time, too long as far as I’m concerned. What I’ve found is that if you want to regain your inner equilibrium the best way to do so is through the body.
It’s pretty hard to feel any kind of bad when your running. Sure you’ll feel the burn in your legs, but your mind will be at peace. In my case I needed to make some changes in my outlook and lifestyle, but in reality so much of what troubles us is pent up energy that is then redirected inwards. Better to use that energy for something, than let it become a danger to yourself.
We each have a different level of physical energy. I got a blood test recently, my total testosterone level was 10.60 ng/ml. The norm for 20-49 year-olds is 2.49-8.36 ng/ml. What happens to someone with a high physical capacity when they spend most of the day sitting around? The same thing that happens to a lion in a cage.
Yes I was going to the gym 4 days a week, but it turns out that wasn’t enough.
Why? Because we have forgotten what we are capable of. We have forgotten, but our bodies have not.
Lifting weights is one thing but what about challenging your body in terms of temperature, endurance and flexibility?
We live in a cocooned world. Unless we try, we don’t get cold or hot, we don’t sweat, we don’t lift things that are heavy, we don’t run and we don’t climb. All the things that would have been a natural part of our days for 99% of our evolutionary existence. So is it any surprise when you get to the end of your day and your mind is racing and you can’t sleep?
Here is what I did then, and whatever the flavour of your mental discomfort my non-medical viewpoint is these things will help, and save you a lot of money.
There is an underlying principle to each. They are uncomfortable, physically difficult and require determination. Each time you assert your personal WILL over your body and mind, you grow that little bit more. You become the driver in your life, instead of the passenger. It is a subtle, yet life changing shift to make.
I believe everyone has the ability to make that shift although few do. I’m not sure why. For me it was never an option, being on the back foot was always too painful. Fate it seems has pushed me onto the front foot.
A further note, light and moderate exercise are great for overall health. 10,000 steps a day and all that. But if you want that big ticket mental clarity and calmness, in my experience it doesn’t come cheaply. You need to push into the red line. It has to be hard and on the edge of what you can tolerate, that’s where the magic happens. There is an art to finding that line because of course you don’t want to cause yourself harm.
Often you might feel emotion welling up in you during or after these activities. I’m not sure what that is. My hunch is that it’s all the unprocessed shit that is now coming to the surface and being released, so that you don’t have to deal with it anymore.
Here are some things you can try:
1) Running: this comes at the top because it is free and most people can do it. If you can’t run, walk until you can run. Or you can walk in undulating terrain at pace, also quite challenging. There is a reason why Forrest Gump starts running, it works wonders. All you have to do is worry about running and your other worries will begin to melt away. They might still be there when you get back, but you’ll be better equipped to deal with them. As mentioned earlier, a walk just isn’t intense enough for most people to stop the mental bullshit mill. Run instead.
2) Cold immersion: if you live in a place where it’s cold enough, a cold shower in the morning will do. Benefits start when the water is below 20C, below 10C is best. You can ease into it by starting with a warm shower and gradually working towards cold. Once you get to fully cold water, try and stay in there a little longer each day. You might also try swimming in the ocean. Or if you want the ultimate cold challenge, taking an ice bath. These days there are various ice bath groups that you can join in most cities. Yeah they can be a bit cult-like, but in general the people that attend are great and the benefits are undeniable. Take a decent ice bath and you’re almost guaranteed to feel relaxed for the day and get great sleep that night. I like the comradery of the events, there’s something special about overcoming challenges with a group of people.
3) Yoga: it’s hard to argue with a proven system that has a 5000 year track record. Whatever I say here or in any of my blogs has been said better by the Yogis. And yoga is part of their legacy. Sure modern yoga especially as we practise it in the West is pretty watered down, but you can still get great benefits from it. And once in a while you’ll get lucky and strike upon a teacher that can really work wonders for you.
4) Weight training: this one takes a little more care because it’s easy to get injured if your technique is wrong. But with the proper knowledge you can learn to safely push yourself. The benefits are many, but primarily you’ll increase your muscle strength at first, and then if you keep at it, your muscle mass (which takes about 12 weeks of consistent training to start building). In addition your heart will get stronger, your bones more dense, your metabolism will rise allowing you to burn more fat at rest and you’ll look better in the mirror. Lifting weights doesn’t move the needle for me as much these days because I’ve been doing it for so long, but if you’re just starting it should give you the same kind of rush as the other methods above.
So there it is. If you’re having a bad day, which we all do, you don’t have to think your way out of it. Actually thinking will probably just dig you deeper into the hole. Instead give one or all of the above a try. I hope you experience the same benefits as I have.
Like Mickey tells Rocky, “You can do it! Goddamnit, you got the power! The body, get the body!!!”
Once you’ve got that body nicely tendered up, then you can look to the tricky mind, and work out what in your thinking needs to change, and what changes you may need to make in life. You might want to seek out help for that, or perhaps keep a journal and do it on your own.